January 23, 2012

I'm stuck


I don't understand my fascination. I talked Superman into agreeing to marry me shortly after we started dating. I convinced him to give me a ring, the equivalent of a cigar band, which subsequently broke. I keep telling him the wedding is completely up to him, because I've done this before and he hasn't. At the same time, it appears I have far more opinions and ideas on the subject. Periodically, I go through phases where all I can think about is weddings.

This is one of those times. I'm stuck watching episode after episode of Say Yes to the Dress on Netflix. I can't imagine wearing any of the dresses or paying anything like the prices on this show. I've been watching almost nonstop for the past two days.

I think about being married to Superman.

I think about what it will be like when my boys get married.

I think about having a wedding without my Dad.

I think about choosing a dress with my Mom.

I get all sad and romantic and mushy and crazy. I've lost my frickin' mind. Again.

I did get out and run both days. 3 miles each day, and I'm shaving seconds off my time every time I run that route. I'm down to an 11:26 average mile. My calves still hurt through the entire 3 miles, but my hips are still not tightening up. I've noticed my calves do loosen up a bit on the longer runs, though longer in this case only means  6 or 7 miles.

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Room for improvement

1. I've lost touch with not only my goals, but also the things I absolutely have to be doing. I have to reign it in and get back to putting in a resume a day. Which leads me to...

2. Focus. I'm learning things about myself here. I'm really good at focus for a few days, a week. Then it all falls apart and I have to regroup. I was hoping the blog and the calendar would help. That does not appear to be the case, mainly because again, I'm not keeping up with them.

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Positives for the day

1. I'm shaving seconds off my runs, even while running every day.

That's all I got. Nothing else happened today.

2 comments:

Aunt Gertie said...

Keep in mind normal doesn't feel normal yet. Allow yourself the time you need to adjust.p

Artful Excursions said...

As a rule, women in our family are not good at not having opinions about most things, most of the time. However, we're also smart enough to fall for men who respect that most of the time (even if not, perhaps, every single time we're a little stubborn). Gram was one of the most stubborn women ever. I like having Gram-like traits, even if that's not the best one to have.