December 16, 2011

Progress, a smile, and a realization

This is me, eating a seafood fajita at Friends Night Out. Most Fridays you'll find Superman and I at our favorite Mexican place, with as many friends as we can gather. The fajita is one of the healthier options on the menu, which specializes in predominantly meat wrapped meat and bacon. I am trying to make healthier choices in relation to my weight loss goal. So dinner = healthy choice. The fried ice cream desert and the cookies I had for breakfast = not so much. I'm seriously considering throwing the rest of the cookies away. It's possible I can't be trusted to have them in the house for an occasional treat.

So I've known for a while that I tend to eat when I'm thirsty. I've also known for a while the discomfort I periodically get in my stomach area is not always hunger (for the longest time I thought it was). Recently I realized the belly discomfort may have to do with thirst as well. I haven't been able to shake the belly discomfort = hunger reaction though. I've tried making rules like "drink a glass of water before eating anything" but rules don't seem to sit well with me. I'm usually good for a day, maybe two, before going back to my original behaviors. Today I think I made some progress.

I was at my lowest weight when the boys were very young, probably 15-18 years ago. One of the things I did then was carry a water bottle around with me everywhere I went. I have on occasion since tried the same trick, but have not been able to find a water bottle I liked to drink from, that I liked to carry. They were either too large, too small, too fat, or they had the wrong type of spout or cap or ... the list is endless as to why they didn't work. I think I finally found a water bottle that works. Best part? $1.50 at Wal-Mart. I fully intend to hit every Wal-Mart this side of Chicago in an effort to stock up, since I expect now I've found them Wal-Mart will immediately decide to discontinue them.

I cleaned my kitchen today. I know that doesn't sound like much, and actually it's one of the easiest housekeeping goal efforts for me. I clean most of my kitchen every time I do dishes anyway, and I do dishes just about every day. Today I rearranged a few things, wiped down counters, cabinets, and the stove, and determined I do not have oven cleaner in the house. Guess what will be part of my housekeeping goal either tomorrow or Sunday...

This made me smile today, and helped reduce today's depression monster a lot:
Superman also helped me fight depression today, by listening to me as I worked through some sorrow regarding my Dad and the house project. Part of me is afraid to finish the house, because that will mean I have to let that part of him go. I know I'll never let him go completely, that I will always think of him and always miss him, but part of me is afraid to stop thinking of him all the time. As if that would mean I loved him any less.

I made a few decisions about my learning goal. I'm not making any progress as long as I'm spending so much time and energy finishing my parent's house. At the same time, the house has to be done. I'm focused right now on completing the master bedroom by Christmas, and to that end I textured the rest of the ceiling today. Once the bedroom is done however, and after the holidays, I intend to go back to the 3 day work week I shared with my Dad. This will give me several days where I can focus on studying, without the fatigue and without the time constraints.

I didn't do anything toward my marathon goal today, unless you count actually taking a rest day as progress. I did stretch though, including side and back stretches I haven't done in a long time. I'm working my way toward a little routine I want to do first thing in the morning, as well as periodic stretches throughout the day. I would like this to become a habit again, something I enjoy doing and don't have to think about, as opposed to something I'm trying to remember to do.

1 comment:

BabyWeightMyFatAss said...

I just wanted to let you know I'm following along and wish you only the best in your journey. Lot's of good thoughts for you.