Bad Jan! Bad!

For the last 2 days, instead of drinking even close to a healthy amount of liquid, I overate instead. I drank a little coffee, a little water, and a little soda. I KNEW I was dehydrated, but when I went to the kitchen I came out with food instead of liquid.

I hate when I do that.

There's a part of me that doesn't like me very much. Every time I do something good for myself, like maybe run a half marathon non-stop, I sabotage myself.

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I wrote the above yesterday, then decided it wasn’t good material for a Thankfully Thorns Have Roses post. I've been doing a bit of thinking since then.

1. Would I overeat if I actually drank enough water EVERY SINGLE DAY? I believe there’s a direct relationship between what and how much I eat, compared to what and how much I drink.
   
   
2. Amanda at Run to the Finish is hosting a 10 Day Sugar Free Challenge starting June 1. I signed up with the expectation that I would do the challenge for 28 days (the amount of time it takes to break a habit). There are several reasons for this. The main reason is sugar can eliminate the ability to feel full. I don’t feel full. I’ve mentioned this before, and been aware of it for quite some time. I overeat, in part because I never feel full until I am overfull.
   
   
3. The Paleo Diet is all over the interwebs and has been mentioned in several blogs I read. A vegetable heavy diet is also stressed many places, consisting of up to 10 servings of vegetables a day.
   
   
4. Someone recently posted about how, when it comes down to it, we only do what we want to do. If I want to run, I make all sorts of opportunities and bend over backwards to find a way to run. If I don’t want to run, I make all sorts of excuses and find all sorts of reasons not to run. I may run once or twice, but in the long run it won’t happen. This is true of everything, including diets. I apparently want that ice cream more than I want to be thin.
   
   
5. I don’t actually want to be thin. When I was thin, I attracted all sorts of unwanted attention. Granted, I haven’t been thin for 20 years so that may no longer be the case. What I want is to not look fat. I want to run faster and more easily. I want my body to be capable of what I ask. I want to feel attractive. These wants are more difficult to quantify than “thin.” Thin is a number on the scale or a pants size. How can I create SMART goals to achieve what I want, without numbers?

These things I’ve been thinking don’t, on the surface, have anything to do with my water consumption. They all have to do with how and why I consume, though. I frequently eat when I’m thirsty. I eat too much sugar, and not enough healthy food like vegetables. Why? What is the motivation behind my eating habits? Is there any motivation behind the way I eat?

The 10 Day Sugar Free Challenge is going to bring about more changes than just a lack of sugar. I will not be able to drink diet soda, of which I have at least one 24 oz. per day. I will not be able to drink coffee, because I can’t stand it unless it’s at least half flavored creamer so it doesn’t taste like coffee at all. That creamer is full of sugar. The only way I’ll be able to get caffeine is through iced tea, which is the only caffeinated beverage I can stand without sweetener. 

The challenge will make me eat more fruit, because that is how you deal with sugar cravings. Your body wants sweet, you give it natural sweet. The challenge won’t directly make me eat more vegetables, but I’ll have to fill the calories currently taken by sweets with something. That something should be healthy.

I’m working on drinking enough healthy liquids. I’m working on getting my head around no added sugar. Now if I can just get my head around how this will affect my wants, I’ll be set.