7/17 - Tapping out, trusted professionals, and loan refinancing

I haven't given up on the Blender project, but apparently I can't do everything, every day. Who decided this, I ask?!? At this point I'm still trying to figure out how to both read and create on a regular basis. I'm hoping the weekend will save me, but of course this coming weekend is packed with both a wedding and

MONKEY BOY IS COMING HOME!!!

Monkey Boy is officially done with his stint in the Air Force, and is coming home for a few months before heading off to college. The next few months are going to be interesting, to say the least...
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Today I did not exactly feel like an Olympian. It could be the "2nd day is always the worst" from Monday's Tap Out workout, added to yesterday's run, or I might have caught something from one of the developers I was shadowing yesterday. All I know is I was tired and achy and headachy, with stomach issues off and on all day. It made for interesting spurts of concentration.

It also meant today turned into a rest day. I was scheduled to run 6 miles, but between the way I felt and the 95 degree temperatures, THAT wasn't happening. I went back and forth up until the moment I walked into my air conditioned house, before finally deciding it was in my best interest to just rest. I'm cross training with the TapOut class again tomorrow, and by Friday the temperature is supposed to drop so I can run outside without melting.
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Today I learned how to be a trusted professional, and about accountability. Part of the reason we have these classes is because my place of business hires potential talent, entry level and right out of college. Most of these kids have never had a real job and may not really know how to act. Another part is the company recently converted to an Agile development environment, and with that came what they call "Cornerstone Principles." The classes were created not only for new hires, but also for the existing staff when they changed the corporate culture to this new development approach.

It's interesting, coming from Support, to see how corporate culture is defined in the different departments. Personally I'd like to see more of the PD openness and playfulness in Support, but I don't know the reasons behind why Support runs the way it does. It's possible, since the phones have to be manned, that flying darts and more open space would be counter-productive.
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Today I pretty much gave up on the video walk-throughs for the Bacon Patrol product. I'm starting to feel more comfortable in the product, but it will take me two weeks to watch all these videos. I don't have the patience or time for that. I still have to create a General Ledger solution in a test database for yesterday's SQL class. I don't really understand what a General Ledger is yet, so I have to research that first. Today's classes didn't have any homework, but tomorrow I get into database programming, and Friday .NET (a programming language). It's a sure bet I'll have homework after THOSE three to four hour classes. 

I'm excited to get into the meat of what I'll be doing. Maybe next week I'll be ready to take on a card, or at least pair with someone on a card, and actually accomplish something. Can you tell I'm getting just a little impatient? 

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Today I talked with a loan person about refinancing my condo. I've tried periodically over the past few years to refinance, because my interest rate is currently about twice the market rate. Until now, I'd also hoped to lower my mortgage payment. With my new pay scale however, my current payment is less of an issue. When the mortgage guy asked what my goal was, I didn't have an answer. I don't want to refinance out to 30 years again. That doesn't make sense from an interest standpoint. I don't need a lower monthly payment, though it would be nice. It would also be nice to have a shorter term loan if I plan to keep the place.

Yes, I do plan to eventually live with Superman, and even one day marry him. At the same time, I've considered keeping my place. I've thought about letting Ninja and Monkey Boy live here. I've thought about having it as something like a "summer home," where family members would have a place to crash when they came to town. I've thought about renting it out, though I'm not thrilled with the idea of being a landlord to someone who might not actually pay their rent. I've also thought about short sales and simply walking away. Ideally I could sell it for what I owe, but in the current market that's not going to happen. Also, I'd have to do some remodeling to make it worth what I owe, since the kitchen floor is peeling up and the carpets are more than 12 years old.

What it comes down to is, I don't know what I want to do with the place when I'm no longer living here. At the moment I expect to live here somewhere between 3 and 5 years, but I'll be very sad if I'm still here in 2018. It's too small for Superman to move in with me, and we have talked about maybe setting a tentative date to seriously consider thinking about actually tying the knot in 2018.

Today I am hopeful, but not overly optimistic. My place has to be worth at least 80% of the loan in order to move forward with the refinancing, and ideally worth 85% to do this without closing costs. I spent some time on the County Auditor's site and on Zillow tonight. I'm not completely disheartened, but it's going to be difficult to pull the numbers I'd need. Even if I can't move forward on this now, at least I'll have an idea of the current picture, because I'm going to revisit the question of what to do with this place sooner rather than later.
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7/16 - Running, dongles, and The Thief and the Cobbler

Today's image is not the continuation of my Blender adventures. Instead, I'm sharing the first page of a  treatise on running created by the author of The Oatmeal (a favored Web Comic). You can find the entirety of the work here. Go read it. Trust me, if that's all the time you have, his work is a far better use of your time than mine.

I'm training for my first marathon, and have for at least the last year known I will at some point run an Ultra. I am well familiar with The Oatmeal's Blerch, having one of my own. I do not treat my body, as the author claims, "like a fast-moving dumpster," but that's only because I fight that part of myself. I like vegetables and salads, but I also like pizza, and cookies, and chocolate.

Why do I run? In part because I have already eaten the pizza and cookies and chocolate. I run because I want to lose weight. I also run because, like the Oatmeal, it makes me feel I've accomplished something that day. I run because it makes me feel strong, and because it's more healthy to move than not. I run because it's the only form of exercise I've found with a tangible goal I can regularly make myself work toward. I run because I define myself as a person who runs, and I like that about myself. It's important to acknowledge and further the things you like about yourself.

Today I ran because I didn't run yesterday, and it's in my plan to run 3 short runs a week. I went to bed late and did not sleep well, so did not get up when I wanted. When I did get up, my hamstrings were very tight (part of why I didn't sleep well). The fact my hamstrings are tight is a good thing, an indication I'm getting stronger and improving since I'm actually using that portion of my legs on my runs.

I decided I had time for at least one mile, to loosen things up. A mile in the morning to loosen things up might have to happen every day, even on non-running days. It worked, and I was for the most part not stiff again until I had to sit through a 3 and a half hour class this afternoon. The periodic stretching throughout the day may also have had something to do with that....

I ran part of that mile at a less-than-10-minute-mile pace. This is very fast for me, but it felt sustainable. Unfortunately I did not have time for more than one mile this morning. By the time I got on the treadmill this evening to finish out the day's mileage, my entire body had tightened up again and I was back to +12-minute-miles. I know I have those 10-minute-miles in me, though. They're planned for on my training calendar. 4 mile days, until I get to where I can run them at 10-minute-mile pace. Then up the distance to 5 miles on those days.
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Today I learned about the program I'll be developing for. I planned to explore by seeing how many of the issues on the board I could recreate. Issues on the board are what the developers either are or will be working on. Recreating them would give me experience finding and deciphering the issue criteria, as well as navigating around the program. You have to be able to recreate the problem to know what you are fixing, and to know you are fixing the correct thing.

When I suggested this little game of mine during our morning meeting, I was directed to several training videos I'd not yet watched. The bit I had watched consisted of "this is how you enter your user name..." Apparently Issues Scavenger Hunt is a game for another day. I made it about halfway through the Overview video this morning, and still have 12 other videos to look through. Hopefully they are not all as lengthy, as I'm starting to feel impatient. I want to get into the program and actually get some work done.

Today I also had a class on relational databases. This turned out to be a refresher class on SQL, but was not in any way boring or redundant. The class was fast paced and I learned new things even as we went over the basics for SQL syntax. The instructor answered questions I'd had for a while, for which I'd never got around to looking up the answers. He also made things I thought I understood more clear. The homework assignment is a little daunting, which means I'll be challenged... not a bad thing.
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Today I learned I can connect to my laptop with a bluetooth headset. This is accomplished with a Bluetooth Dongle (love that word!) that cost me all of $15 at Microcenter. It's a tiny thing that plugs into a USB port:

I already have a bluetooth headset, one of many I've run through the washing machine. This one, I can hear just fine but the microphone no longer works. Perfect for this situation! Now I'll be able to listen to the training videos without being literally chained to my laptop by my headphone cord.
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Today I was thrilled to find this:

Ninja and Monkey Boy will appreciate this movie, The Thief and the Cobbler, which was a family favorite. I've looked for a copy of it off and on for years, and today found the full length version on YouTube. I love the optical illusions in the artwork. We all loved the jokes and play on words throughout. This movie was played over and over in our house, worn out, and is still quoted to this day.

Finding this = Made. My. Day.
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7/15 - Schedules and learning and models and bedtimes

Today's Blender project was to create an alarm clock. I'm using this tutorial, and will continue with this tutorial tomorrow. I don't have a clock face image, so used a random picture from my hard drive. Mostly what I learned is where some of the menu items are, and some of the keyboard shortcuts to move around within my project. I'm sure these tidbits will all be reinforced many times before I can create anything on my own. The program requires a lot of keyboard shortcuts, and so far I've probably used about 8 different menus.
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Knowing lessons need reinforcement was also a theme at work today. I am learning how to use the debugging tool in SQL Server Management Studio, which is the program in which I access the database tables. I've now seen the way two different developers debug. I'm ready to try it on my own, but am not certain I remember all the steps to successfully ferret out an issue. This will take practice and a bit of skill to know when to step in, out, through and over aspects of a stored procedure or function.

Today I also learned, if the programming issue I'm researching turns out to not be the issue at all, I don't have to resolve the underlying cause of whatever behavior I'm trying to change. I can send the problem back to the team drawing board for re-evaluation. This is an important difference between Support and Development. In Support, I would have to resolve the underlying issue, regardless of cause. In Development, the underlying issue will be resolved, but it's not solely up to me to do so.
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Today I learned it's not easy to find models that look like what I want to see in my mirror. I'm taking a program through work called "Living Lean," which is supposed to help me stop binge eating and snacking late at night (among other things). I'm only a week into the 5 week course, and the premise appears to be one of personal responsibility. Know the truth of why you binge (because not binging makes you uncomfortable for various reasons), and choose whether or not eating that donut aligns with your current goals (it probably doesn't). The program has helped me define what my weight goals are, one of which is to get back into my "skinny jeans."

I'm creating a digital notebook instead of the physical one the program asks for, because I'm a geek that way. Today's homework assignment included finding an image to represent the main goal I'm working toward. This goal, for me, is to be happy and proud of what I see when I look in the mirror. I decided to look for images of a girl in jeans, that looks like what I hope to someday see in the mirror.

Most of what I found looked a lot like this:

I'm a bit stockier and curvier. This circa 80's image was the closest I could find to what I was looking for:

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Today I decided it would be a good idea to schedule in time to read, where I can. I am incapable of following a long term schedule, in the same way I’m incapable of following a recipe or training plan, so I only added reading time to this week's schedule. Work is throwing information at me fast and furious, and I'm already 2 books behind. At the same time, I'm still watching Ellen and Daily Grace on YouTube after work. Well, last night I was. Tonight I walked down to Burlington's for a browse through their dress and shirt sections, then came home and played with the sprinkler in my garden. Reading will have to wait until tomorrow, even if I am feeling overwhelmed.
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I could read yet tonight, but today I also decided to officially set my bedtime at 10pm. I find myself getting tired and heading to bed earlier and earlier lately, but never officially set a time I wanted to be in bed. With the new work and workout schedule, I’ve set a time to be up every day. Setting bedtime at 10 gives me a half hour to settle down and 8 hours sleep time before I have to get up. Getting enough sleep is another goal I’ve struggled with, in part because I’m up several times a night, but also because I tend to stay up too late.

You'll laugh to know I set this goal today, and it's now after 10:30pm already. See my comment about long term schedules above. Setting bed time at 10pm obviously doesn't mean I’ll make it to bed by 10 every night. 10pm is the goal, with a half hour of stretching before and nothing scheduled after.  
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Today I opted not to run the 4 miles on my calendar. This morning dishes, laundry, and putting my utility room back in order seemed more important. I had to pull my utility room apart last week, when we had torrential rains and that section of my basement flooded. This was not the first time my basement flooded, even after having the place waterproofed a few years ago. There is something about the northwest corner of the building that has trouble handling torrential rains. Any other time it's good, but at least once a year the basement takes on water. The carpet in that section of the basement has been through several years of soakings, and the smell filled my house. Getting rid of the carpet eliminated the smell issue, but I'd only put about half the items back where I store them.

I know me well enough to build wiggle room into all schedules (see scheduling comment above). My workout schedule is based around training for The Perfect 10 Miler in August, then the Towpath Marathon next October. I have 3 shorter runs during the week and a long run on the weekend. It doesn't matter which days these runs occur, as long as they occur within those time frames.

On the days I'm not running, I'm cross training. The amount of cross training is based on the time I have available on any given day. I could have run tonight, but am not a fan of running in the heat so opted to switch today's run with tomorrow's cross train day. We now have a gym at work, and at 5:30 every evening there is a group of people who get together for workout DVDs. They just finished the Insanity program, and today was the first day of TapouT XT.  This is a mixed martial arts system, kind of like Beach Body's Combat. Punching and kicking is fun for me, so I'd planned to drop in periodically anyway.

I'm trying to stay positive on this blog, so am withholding judgement on TapouT until I can take a sit in on a few more sessions. Not every workout video is a good fit for every person, and that's all I'll say about that.
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Today I did not laugh out loud, but I smiled when my team (dubbed "Bacon Patrol") dedicated an entire white board to Zombieland. I also got a warm fuzzy from my first one-on-one with my boss, who told me the team is impressed with my work ethic. I'm excited for my friend "Hasty" who has an interview tomorrow, and I chatted with a different friend about the medieval fair a group of us are going to the end of this month.

Today I also laughed at myself, because apparently scheduling something pretty much assures I won't follow that schedule. At least that's how it worked today. We'll see what tomorrow brings.
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Jan[et] Cicelia

I'm moving over to http://janetcicelia.blogspot.com/. Come visit me sometime!

July 14 - Starting over

Today I decided to pull the trigger on several lines of thought I've been hashing over in my head lately. About 6 weeks ago, I accepted a Software Engineer position at the same company where I've been doing software support for the last year. Since then, I've been kind of free falling. My shift starts an hour earlier, I'm not playing World of Warcraft right now, and I find I'm wasting a lot of time on YouTube. Meanwhile, I miss being creative and I have goals gathering dust on the shelf. 

One solution is to start blogging again. I enjoy writing, and I like the community aspect of blogging. Thankfully Thorns Have Roses turned into something of a running blog. I do still run, and just finished working out a training plan for a marathon in October of 2014. However, I do more than run, and I don't want to my blog to focus on only one thing. I moved to Jan[et] Cicelia partially because there are other blogs named Thankful Thorns have Roses, and partially because this is a new format for me, with a new approach toward content. 

I want my blog to not only report on what I'm doing, but also drive and motivate me to do more. One of the ways I hope to accomplish this is by posting my artwork daily. The image above is what I accomplished today. Granted, it doesn't currently look like much, but it will. I'm teaching myself a graphics program called Blender. The plan to is to put in at least 15 minutes per day, and post my progress regularly. Today I learned  how to control the object: how to rotate, size, and change perspective on the plane.

I also want my blog to be a positive place. I don't want to make excuses for why my art looks the way it does, or why my runs went the way they did. The plan is to focus on what I did well and what I can improve on. So for today's piece, I did well to run through the tutorial twice, practicing each tidbit as it was discussed. The obvious improvement would be to actually create something more than the box the program automatically starts with. I'm looking forward to seeing how quickly I can get there.

I've been spending time on Reddit lately, and thoroughly enjoy the Today I Learned (TIL) posts. Well, today I laughed when I saw a pickup truck driving down the freeway. I know we've all held our hands out the car window, waving up and down as the air current flowed over and under. This pickup had four arms sticking out the windows, all moving with the air currents. It looked like it had wings! The best part? All four arms were adult, and heavily tattooed.

The Great Tea Taste-off

I've been trying to get away from soda, from caffeine, but struggled to find a good replacement beverage. I can drink a ton of water when I'm working out, but apparently not when I'm just working.

Also, I've started to follow the Atkins plan, which for me has created a side effect of dry eyes every hour or two, unless I am really well hydrated. The dry eyes are extremely uncomfortable, so this is probably the best thing to ever happen to me. I *MUST* drink quarts and quarts of liquid a day in order to prevent that discomfort. Everyone knows you're supposed to drink a ton of water to help lose weight. Voila! I can't NOT.

Hi, by the way. I've missed you all.

So. Trying to walk away from caffeine and soda, while not feeling forced to drink a beverage I don't really enjoy unless parched. I don't like coffee unless it's buried in flavored creamer, which makes it a high calorie beverage. Tea seems the logical answer. Except I can't drink sweetened tea on Atkins. Or rather, I can't drink as much as I need. I can use artificial sweetener, and do use Truvia, but each packet is considered a gram of net carbs (even though it says there are 0 carbs, they can say that when there is less than 1% so better safe than sorry). I'm currently supposed to have less than 20 net carbs per day. For those who don't know, net carbs = the number of grams of carbohydrates a food has, minus the grams of fiber. So you're basically keeping track of the sugars you eat. For me, less than 20 net carbs comes out to about 40 grams of carbs, period. 

I have several teas in my cabinet, but I've always drunk them with cream and sweetener. I've never really tried them without. I also found a sale on tea today, so added several more to the stash. Not having the cabinet room for all these teas, and now knowing if I even liked them, I decided to have a tea taste-off.

I started with 16 teas. Well, 17 if you count the Lipton's standard, but the first thing I did was throw that away. I already know I can't drink it unsweetened, nor can I drink it all day long. It is too acidic and upsets my stomach. Also, it was probably close to 10 years old. 

I eliminated the Tazo Wild Sweet Orange and the Good Earth teas from the competition as well. I already know I love Good Earth's Sweet and Spicy,  sweetened. That and the Wild Sweet Orange are both good unsweetened, though not amazing. I also already know green teas are ok sweetened, but not unsweetened. 

I do not have 16 tea cups in my house, so I knew there would be several rounds of tasting. I started with the teas in my cabinet: Green Chai, Organic Breakfast Tea, Salada White, Tangerine Orange Zinger, Berryblossom White, and Red Zinger. I steeped them for a minute or two, pulled the teabags out and put an ice cube in each cup. I smelled each teabag as I discarded it, and tried to guess which ones I would like by scent alone. I was not always right.

Once the teas were cool enough to taste, I took a spoonful then a full sip. The Tangerine Orange Zinger was the unsweetened winner, hands down. I also liked the White, which surprised me. I did not enjoy the other four unsweetened, so tried them with one packet of sweetener each. The Green Chai was good sweetened, but the Organic Breakfast tea won this round for the sweetened tea category.

The next round consisted of several Tazo teas: Sweet Cinnamon Spice, Apricot Vanilla Creme, and Passion. There were also Lipton teas: Green Tea with Orange, Passion Fruit and Jasmine, White Tea with Blueberry and Pomegranate, and Orange Blossom Hibiscus. The Stash Green Tea with Pomegranate and Raspberry was the last, so I added it to this round.

I learned I'm really a white and black tea girl. Most of the green teas didn't wow me, sweetened or not. I was really hopeful for the Sweet Cinnamon Spice, but it tasted like a cinnamon roll in tea, and that was just too odd for me. I'm wondering now if I'll even like any of the other "desert" teas. I'm game to try, but a bit skeptical. 

In the sweetened category, the Organic Breakfast Tea held it's own. However, in the unsweetened category I found a new winner. The Tazo Passion is amazing! It is full, with a strong flavor of rose and orange. It's obvious to me I like orange teas, but this is a step beyond. I'll be drinking a lot of this tea!

Now I know I have several flavors of tea I like unsweetened, for when I get tired of the Passion. I don't see that happening any time soon, but anything is possible.

It turns out the only tea I really didn't like is the Red Zinger. This is actually one of Superman's favorites, so I'll be keeping it around anyway. However, I do now have a lot of tea I'm not particularly fond of, sweetened or not. I know my tastes are not the same as everyone else's, so it's possible these teas could find a good home with someone who will appreciate them. I'm willing to put all I have left of each, waterproofed in a ziploc baggie, and send them off to anyone who wants some. I won't ship the boxes because it will be cheaper for me to send envelopes. Just let me know which of the following you'd like - first come first serve. If you've chosen more than one and someone else would like one you've chosen, I'll split it between you.

Stash Pomegranate Raspberry Green Tea
17 left
I really wanted to like this one. Maybe it if had been white tea...

Tazo Apricot Vanilla Creme
19 left
This one smelled amazing, but the taste for me was just meh. Maybe I needed to steep it longer or something. 

Tazo Sweet Cinnamon Spice
19 left
This is apparently discontinued as I can't find it on the Tazo site.

Lipton Green Tea with Orange, Passion Fruit & Jasmine
19 left
It has all the right ingredients, except the green tea part

Lipton Blueberry Pomegranate
Only 8 left. I like this one sweetened and with creamer, but that's not how I'm drinking tea these days

Tazo Berryblossom White
8 left
another I liked creamed and sweetened

Lipton Orange Blossom Hibiscus
16 left
another I really wanted to like, but didn't. 

Leave a message in the comments if you want any of this. If no one claims them they'll just go in the trash. I don't have the cabinet space for it all!

Be Careful What You Wish For

Last post I talked about Shakeology - whether I should try it or not, how expensive it is, a few of the pros and cons. 

My darling son Monkey Boy had not gotten me a Christmas present, so decided to step in and help sort out my indecision for me.

This package arrived at my door Thursday. 

Now I really have a decision to make. It was easy to toss the pros and cons of meal replacement around when I hadn't actually spent money on the Shakeology product. Apparently Monkey Boy figured Shakeology was too expensive, so purchased more than twice as much product for just over $100 more than the Shakeology would have cost. 

I cannot follow this program. That I know already. The Vi program is based around two shakes per day, plus a healthy dinner. Now I'll admit I've daydreamed about being able to take a pill and get all the nutrition I need in a day. That would remove all temptation to over-eat, because I wouldn't eat at all. "Brownies? No thanks. I don't eat." In the real world though, I want to learn how to eat right, how to eat within my body's requirements, and I want to eat real, healthy food.

But I have this stuff in the house now, and I cannot decide what to do with it. I was (and still am) considering meal replacement shakes for breakfasts. I don't eat breakfast every day, but on the days I'm hungry in the morning a shake would be quick and easy, measured calories, tasty, and (theoretically) nutritious. Just using the shake portion of this seems such a waste though. I am in no way inclined to use the appetite suppressant pills, and am not even mildly consistent about the vitamin supplements I do take. 

I made sure Monkey Boy wouldn't be upset if I returned this lot, which at this particular moment I'm almost certain I will do. I may or may not get the Shakeology, or maybe a different brand of comparatively nutritious meal replacement shake. I don't know. 

I do know I made yogurt smoothies for breakfasts this week. 

I guess I'll see how these go down before deciding about meal replacements one way or the other. 

I'm still amused by my workout schedule. If I were sticking to a single program I would probably be complaining about little quirks of the trainers. As is, I can't decide which videos I like best. I lost a bit of steam toward the end of this past week. I wasn't prepared for the Combat video to require weights, and had to improvise. Thursday night I had multiple vivid and violent nightmares, which contributed to Friday being a rest day. I didn't run today either, though I could have. Even so, this past week is the best workout week I've had in a long time, as I type this I'm looking forward to the week to come. 

Should I drink the koolaid?

A friend of mine has lost 40 lbs doing the Insanity program, and has now become a Team Beach Body Coach. She's invited me to her Facebook page and encouraged me to talk about my "hybrid Beachbody workout plan."

I can't seem to get a good pic of my calendar.
I mark off each day with comments about weights I used,
or whether it's better to do that particular workout in the basement

I don't know that I really want to talk about my plan on her Facebook page. Mostly I don't want to talk about it because I feel like a fatty. I've been running for over two years, but even when working out regularly I haven't lost any weight. Much like the start of my friend's workout journey, mine has included a lot of workouts and not so many dietary restrictions.

My friend has drunk the Koolaid. She's also drinking the Shakeology. At $4 per shake, I'm having a little trouble swallowing that one. Sure, they're full of all natural ingredients. So would any smoothie I made from whole foods instead of processed "beet juice powder."

It's working for her.

I've spent an awful lot of money trying to figure out approximately how many calories I expend in a day, and how many I need to consume. I'm better about overeating now I'm staying away from gluten, but I still have a sweet tooth the size of the Grand Canyon. I still have no idea if I should try to subsist on 1200 calories, or if I really need the 1700-1900 I consume most days.

I'm actually inclined to believe the latter. For the past several weeks I've been weighing myself when I get up and when I go to bed, on the days I'm home. Starting Mondays I've consistently lost a pound or two through the course of the week. Then comes Wednesday or Thursday Chinese, then Friday Mexican, and by the end of the weekend I've gained it all back.

I'm not good at wholesale changes. That doesn't mean I'm not good at changes. I'm still working on making the gluten free one stick. I'm planning out how to cut coffee and soda from my diet. I'm not as concerned about the caffeine as I am with the chemicals in the coffee creamer and diet colas I drink daily. The majority of my day to day diet is healthy whole foods. I am slowly working on reducing the calories in while increasing the calories out.

I don't want to drink the Koolaid. I want to be able to eat healthy foods and maintain a healthy weight without all the hype.

I guess we'll find out how well that works for me.

I've taken another set of "before" pictures. I won't subject you to them, but I will say I'm pleasantly surprised to find I have some muscle definition in my arms.

Release the Anger

I am a literalist and a realist. Because I take everything literally, I do not function well when people lie to me. I don't lie to you, and I expect the same courtesy.

We've been having a bit of drama at work lately. One of the guys that was hired in with me has been extremely unhappy. He didn't like the hours, so decided to make his own. Coming in half an hour to an hour before the rest of the crew wasn't that big a deal, as long as there were tickets to work on. However, when he decided he wanted to start his shift a good 2 hours before support hours began, Management decided he needed to be doing other things during that time. He was trained on applications that had support hours when he wanted to come in.

He wasn't happy learning the new applications. He apparently had enough trouble learning the application he was hired in to support, and learning two new applications on top of that overwhelmed him completely.

At about the same time he finished his training and was put on the phones to support these two new applications, his daughter became ill.

This guy's behaviors and mannerisms reminded me Ninja. I felt bad for him, and somewhat protective since he was obviously struggling. I'm not bragging when I say I know the most out of the three of us about the product we support. I helped this guy out. I let it pass when he asked me the same questions over and over, figuring he wasn't using his knowledge as much since he was supporting these new products. I let things pass because he had "stuff going on."

He started calling in sick. A lot. The way the schedules worked, it was just he and I on Mondays. He started showing a distinct tendency toward Mondayitis, leaving me alone to handle what is supposed to be a two to three person job. Work stressed him so much he refused to log onto the phones when he was there, leaving the majority of the work to myself and the third member of out team. It got to where I could almost predict when he would be out, based on his behavior the day before.

There were a lot of doctor's visits for his daughter, who had a severe and mysterious pain in her side. Ultimately, there was a gall bladder surgery and an extended hospital stay, all of which he had to attend. He used up all of his PTO with unplanned outs, and then some.

Last Monday was his final day at work. At some point while he was supposedly out with his daughter's illness, he interviewed for and found another job. This is not a job I would have taken. From what I understand it does not pay as well, nor does it have the benefits this company offers. I'm only a little mad he lied about interviewing, and that's mainly because the lie he told was obvious enough for me to feel insulted he believed I'd buy it. I am more peeved he used our concern and care over his daughter's illness for his own gains.

I'm mad that he lied about so much else, too. I've found in the last week he told the other guy on our team he was making more than both of us. That is patently ridiculous, considering each of our level's of education and experience. He told clients things that made the team look bad. Everything he ever said is now being questioned, and quite a bit is not living up to the scrutiny.

Here's the thing. It's easy to get stuck in "mad." I'm a complainer. I try to keep it under wraps, but I frequently find myself complaining about things. Frequently those things involve work. I've been complaining about this guy for months. He's only been gone a week, and I'm already tired of being mad at and complaining about him. I'm tired of the jokes going around the office about him, even when I find myself participating in them.

I drew the above image to help me release the anger, the frustration, the fear of how this change will affect both the team and myself. He is gone, and he will have to pay for the choices he made while here. The residual effects will likely be gone before this next week is over, except for the fact we're now down to two and don't know when that will change. There's also the question of how this affects my training, upon which my expected promotion is if not hinged at least marginally contingent. I'm concerned about the frying pan/fire aspect of our next teammate as well. At least we've been promised the next new hire is ours.

I've been thinking for a while about incorporating my drawings here. My art waxes and wanes, and I often have to make a conscious decision to pick it up again. I'm trying to find time for it now, and chose drawing as something more mobile than clay. I can draw just about anywhere, whenever I find a few minutes.

At the same time, I've been thinking about the possibility of making money from my art. This has always been a dream of mine. If you look over to the left, you'll see I've started a shop where people can purchase things with my work on them. This week's piece may not be the best to begin that with, but I figure by the time anyone actually finds my shop and wants to buy from it, the quality and quantity will be much improved.

New decor

Showing off my new workout room decor. The papers on the walls are P90X worksheets, and they surround the room.

Still so very amused.

Yeah yeah yeah...

I'm not a big fan of resolutions. I'm even a bit hesitant about goals, but at least those aren't contingent on a calendar date arbitrarily mandated by a papul bull in the late 1500's.

That said, there are a few things I would like to see happen this year.

1. Work out more days than not.  I am highly amused by the fact I've acquired the following workout video series: Jillian Micheal's Body Revolution, P90X, Insanity, Les Mills Combat, and TurboFire. I am even more amused by the fact I combined them all into a year's worth of workouts. One series per day, something like this:

Add in the Yoga class Superman and I found on Groupon and an hour long run on the weekends, and I have over a year's worth of workouts planned. I'm not likely to get bored, and really all I have to do is show up. Shouldn't be that difficult. right?

2. Gluten Free.  I've been reading Wheat Belly, and while I have an awful lot of raised eyebrow at the sweeping statements and high drama (the author practically says going wheat free will cure cancer) there is enough science and testimonials to make me at least consider the benefits. Turns out I'm kind of addicted to gluten/wheat. I thought it was sugar, but going off gluten for over 2 weeks, then going back on, I see the difference. There is also the possibility it affects my allergies, though that one is harder to pinpoint cause.

So, gluten free as much as possible. We eat out somewhat regularly, and gluten free at restaurants is almost impossible and I refuse to obsess overmuch about this. I will refrain from ordering tings I know will contain gluten, but if my steak comes with an onion ring on top, I'll just take the onion ring off and give it to Superman. I won't send the steak back because contact with gluten may transfer some. I'm not celiac and I don't have to be THAT careful.

Sugar free would be nice too, but I know myself too well. I can't make sweeping changes successful, and I have a sweet tooth the size of the grand canyon.

3. Rediscovery my creativity. I have plans for this, including a return to blogging, but the biggest problem is finding time. I'm a big fan of lists, and currently have multiple calendars to keep track of workouts, what I need to do to make those happen, and when I have a little extra time. I'm still working long hours. I'm still playing WoW and raiding twice a week. Those aren't likely to change any time soon, so I have to make time elsewhere. I have nights I don't raid, and I have weekends.

None of these are new ideas. Well, gluten free maybe, but not if you count it as "eating better." None if it is anything I'm not working on all the time, every day, regardless of new or old years. I say that, but I still keep coming back to Aurther's take: "Re" means "again" ... and "solution" means "something you thought you already fixed."

Maybe I do believe in resolutions after all.

Happy New Year everyone. I hope it's a stellar one for all.

My red-headed step child

I haven't blogged much lately, because I've been working 10 hour days 5 days a week. I haven't run much lately, because I haven't been feeling well.

I haven't been doing much at all lately, really.

Not my photo
But definitely my fav

Monkey Boy went back to Germany two weeks ago. Before he left, we had a final night out at a local Stir Fry place. I still don't know the exact cause, but my system went fubar that night - enough to make me consider staying home from work the next day (a Friday). I didn't, but it took until the following Wednesday to feel healthy again, and about then I got hit by a mac truck i.e. allergies. I don't like to run with my head all stuffed up. The pressure makes my pulse reverberate against my skull, and I start getting all worried I'll stroke out or something.

Last Monday I felt well enough to run again, and got a good 4 miles in. Tuesday I was up and dressed to run, but when I opened my front door I was greeted with sheets of rain. I don't mind running in the rain. I actually kind of like it... when it's a warm gentle rain, or when I've already put in the better part of my mileage. Heading out into a torrential downpour is not my idea of a good time. I decided this was the exact reason I'd purchased a treadmill, so headed upstairs.

I'm not good at zoning out on treadmills, but I am a sucker for an increased-interval workout. Somehow all my treadmill runs turn into increased-interval workouts. Huh. Wonder how that happens. I actually hit 7 mph - for a 10th of a mile. Then I noticed the rain had pretty much stopped so I trotted my happy butt outside for a speed mile. I didn't make it all the way around my mile circuit, so turned this into intervals as well. Sprint to the next fire hydrant. Walk to the next fire hydrant. Sprint to the next fire hydrant. I love when I feel faaaaast: arms pumping, heels kicking high behind me, hips and torso involved in each stride. I know fast is a relative term, but "as fast as I can go" sure does feel fun!

Because you need a reason?
(source)

Tuesday I also gave blood, which I've only been able to do once before in my life. I keep trying, but there always seems to be some reason the Red Cross doesn't want my blood: I'd been pregnant recently; my boyfriend's sister contracted malaria; my iron was too low... Mostly my iron was too low.

It almost didn't happen this time either. They were doing the blood drive at work, and when I tried to sign up the site wouldn't give me an appointment. I contacted the person in charge, who told me all the spots were full but they could put me on the back-up list. Then, the day before the drive, I got the call! Could I give at 12:30?

Turns out I couldn't!!! They wanted an hour time slot, and I had training at 1:00. I tried to find a time I could switch with someone, but one guy on my team was already scheduled off for his wife's surgery, and the other guy had a meeting right smack dab in the middle of both time slots I maybe could have switched to. I had to bow out. Imagine how pleased I was to find an email in my inbox the next morning, telling me they would take walk-ins. I walked right over! I went through all the questions, waiting for the pinprick and hoping my iron levels were high enough. I was thrilled not to have to sit there and watch my drop of blood drop. They have a machine now, and the machine liked me!

(source)

The next day (Wednesday) I didn't run, because the Red Cross told me no strenuous exercise for 24 hours. Also, I've read blog posts about people who run the day after giving blood. It is never an enjoyable experience.

(source)

About an hour after I started work, I brought the server down for a couple hours. Of course, I didn't realize I brought the server down. Also, I didn't do anything specifically wrong. I used a query in the database I'd never used before, which appeared to run. I didn't write this query. It's one of our stock "use this if you have to do that" queries. The query finished running, but somehow and for some reason it still tied up all the server resources. We started getting clients calling in saying they couldn't access their inventory. I started sending out broadcast messages to Engineering and Management, telling them each new development. About 2 hours later, SaaS came over to my desk and asked me to close down my SQL Server Management Studio. Lo! All of a sudden everyone (included me) could access their inventory again.

I thought the discomfort I felt later was due to lingering stress from dealing with the server issues and being the cause of said issues. My hips ached, which I blamed on the speed work the day before. I went home that night, spent about an hour having dinner with Superman and studying SQL, then crashed.

This is not what I experienced
(source)

I woke up about 2 hours later, and every hour or so after. I could not get warm, even with the heated mattress pad turned on, double blankets, and a very warm Superman to curl up against. The next day I had zero energy, as in I. Could. Not. Sit. Up. I couldn't keep my eyes open. I slept the better part of the day, only fighting to stay awake long enough to eat the soup and crackers Superman brought over for me. I couldn't find my thermometer so I don't know what my temperature was, but I know I was downright miserable. I considered going to the emergency room, but there was no way I could drive. I'm also not big on doctors, so my logic was "this will pass..."

This was not what I experienced either
(source)

Friday I woke up still feverish, sinuses now thoroughly congested, but feeling SO much better than Thursday I was convinced it was probably a 24 hour bug that hung on just a little long. I won't go to work with a fever, but I was able to sit up and work from home a good bit of the day. I don't have a regular doctor, so any thought of making an appointment was instantly 2x as difficult. It would not be my happiest weekend, but I was certain I would be fine by Monday.

So I'm not the brightest crayon in the box. It wasn't until Saturday I realized I might be in trouble. I went about my normal weekend, starting with grocery shopping. It completely wiped me. I got home drained and exhausted. I'd purchased a new thermometer and my temperature was in the 99 range. I'd hoped the fever would have broken by then. My real hope was the fever would break by Sunday morning. I researched the exact amount of my health savings account, and how the account worked. I started thinking I might have to go to the doctor Monday morning and be late for work. Not the best plan since with the new hours it's just me and one other guy on Mondays.

Sunday morning my fever was low grade, but still there. I ran a few errands and realized I might really have a problem. I won't get into the gory details, but there was some level of gore. I looked to see if my old doctor is in plan for my new insurance. As the health insurance site searched, a box came up suggesting I go to urgent care if I had flu-like symptoms. Huh! Now there's an idea! I started searching for nearby urgent cares.

This is DEFINITELY not what I experienced!
(original source)

Long story slightly less long, I now am the proud owner of a partially consumed (by me) Z-Pac. My fever was of course at a low when the nurse took it. The doctor thought I just had allergies, since I'd been taking allergy medication to deal with the congestion. Never mind that allergy medication wasn't really working very well, or that I was completely a vegetable Thursday. Whatev. I got my meds, which is all that really matters. Now comes the slow hard climb out of exhaustion.

Apple Zucchini Oatmeal muffins.
My gluten-free baking skills are improving!

I've been talking the gluten-free, dairy-free, sugar-free (and now soda-free) talk, but not exactly walking the walk. To show how subversive my mind can be, I congratulated myself on a week of being gluten-free. Then I realized I'd been eating my co-worker's pretzels every day. I decided the dairy free thing was pretty silly. I'd tacked it on at the last minute, because I heard Carrie Underwood say in an interview she felt "less heavy" after going dairy free. How's that for conclusive research? So yeah, cheese and yogurt are again my friends (though cheese at least still has to be in moderation). The soda thing is one I've tried before. I've found a way to happily drink up to 3 quarts of tea a day, so that one final lunch-time soda is going away.

None of this was supposed to be obsessive. Funny how it all feels obsessive...

Speaking of obsessive, I refuse to be obsessive about my blog, either. Working as many hours as I currently am, making my morning runs a priority, it's hard to find time to write. I have to prioritize, and the blog falls a distant 3rd right now. That said, I will not be working these hours forever. I expect to get a promotion somewhere around February-March, which damn well better come with a raise in pay. I expect I'll be working overtime at least until the new year, if only because I can't pay all  my bills otherwise. I'll have a credit card paid off at the end of December though, so that will help.

Until I can devote more time and energy toward this creative endeavor, it will have to limp along with the attention levels given a red-headed step child. I hope that's enough to keep it alive, because I really do like writing here.

I guess only time will tell.

Monkey Boy, the neighborhood stalker, and other news

Well hello there! Fancy meeting you here! I know, it's been so long! Who knew life could actually get in the way of blogging? So much has happened, even the condensed version is lengthy. Grab yourself a cuppa joe and come on along for the ride!

First, work:

They say no good deed goes unpunished, and doing a good job means you're given more jobs to do. I don't know if I've mentioned it, but I've been busting my butt at work. I rarely take a lunch. I stay late every day. Where the other 2 guys pick and choose which tickets they take, I routinely take the oldest. This means I get whatever they've left behind. The hard ones. The difficult customers. I also regularly help them through the tickets they have, and sometimes take over the ones they don't know what to do with. If we as a team need access to something, I'm the one getting us access. Getting access invariably means I'm the one doing that particular ticket as well.

The good news is I'm recognized at work for the effort I put in. Management has asked me to attend meetings they would normally ask a Lead to attend, and my boss told me they are aware I've "taken a leadership role."

The bad news is, they have no intention of making me a Lead any time soon, even though I'm already doing the bulk of the work. This is partially due to the fact that I've only been there 2 months. When I told my manager the guys had been asking why I'm not Lead yet, he said they were thinking of putting me on a development path after year end reviews. Year end reviews are somewhere around February. So basically they expect me to do the job for another 6 months without the recognition (which I don't really care about) or pay (which I DO really care about). I told my boss maybe we should think about a development path now. He said he would talk to his boss about it, and we'll see.

So I guess I'll see. I'm not holding my breath, but I'm not letting it go either. I'm having a hard time living on my current paycheck. This is one way to alleviate that issue.

Family:

It's been the summer for family. We've met up with cousins from across town, Hawaii, and Michigan. Two weeks ago, Monkey Boy came to visit!

I spent more time hanging out with him than taking pictures of him...

He was in and out most of time, spending time at both my place and his Dad's. This was expected, and I'm happy I got to spend quite a bit of time with him. Mostly we just hung out. Occasionally we went out to eat, and once to a movie. He'll be back for Xmas and New Years, then not again until he's out of the Air Force a year from now. How does the time fly by so quickly?

The time does fly by quickly. Monkey Boy was home for my annual birthday bash, which I share with Superman because his birthday is 4 days after mine. I'm the older woman, you see. By all of 4 days. I don't have any photos of the party because I was too busy visiting with people I haven't seen, in some cases, for years!

Superman shares my father's birthday. How has it been a year since we threw Dad that fabulous 70th birthday party he almost didn't let us throw for him, and how has it been almost a year since he left us? It boggles my mind.

Running:

I've been running off and on since I last blogged. I learned I have a neighbor who runs. I've taken to calling him my neighborhood stalker, because it seemed for a while every time I went out to run, I ran into him. He appears to be a very nice guy, but I kind of like my solo runs. I also do not have time to chat after my run, because I have to get ready for work. I have a hard time saying no, so I have yet to tell the man this. Instead, I found myself all dressed up to run, and not going anywhere. I didn't want to run into him so I didn't run at all. That's not going to work!

I did do some long runs in the parks on the weekends, both with and without Monkey Boy.

He complained for 2 days that his calves were sore from this run

The deer have been out in force lately. I've had multiple sightings on every trail run.

Can you see them?

No zoom on this photo. I was that close!

I did start running in the mornings again this past week, neighborhood stalker be damned. If I have to I'll put my headphones on and be anti-social. It's so awkward when he lives right across the street!

Eating:

After several weeks of eating like a teenager (i.e. everything in sight), I decided I really need to re-evaluate my food intake. I'm going back to sugar free and gluten free. I'm also cutting out dairy, which is not really much of a stretch for me. Mostly that just means no cheese and no ice cream. Which really doesn't mean NO cheese and ice cream, because I refuse to be obsessive about any of this. I can and will control what comes into my house, what I make for the meals I make. I fully intend to be a bit lax when I'm not doing the cooking. Yes, I can be pretty certain a piece of bread will have gluten no matter who's cooking. I'm a big believer in special occasions meriting special consideration, though. I'm not going to turn down a piece of really good birthday cake, although I might turn down a piece I don't think I'll enjoy. No sense going off the wagon if I"m not going to enjoy it!

I've spent this entire weekend processing food. I chopped up and froze a ton of vegetables left over from last weekend's party. I also chopped up and froze about 10 cups of collards. I planted 4 plants this year, and found I got tired of collards rather quickly. They went and got overgrown since I wasn't eating them, so I had to do something. I gave quite a few to Superman, froze a bunch, and there are still leaves on the plants to donate to my Mom next weekend.

I had to re-trellis my monster tomato plant, which gifted me with 7 more large, almost ripe tomatoes for my trouble. I've re-trellised this thing twice now, and lost a few tomatoes in the process. Next year I'll know to just use the wooden trellis from the start. I apparently have a magic tomato spot, and my tomato plants quickly outgrow the cages I've tried to use the last two years.

While re-trellising my tomato monster, I also strung up a framework for my raspberry patch. I have a raspberry patch and a strawberry patch, both of which have kept me happily in breakfast fruit for the past month and more. I get about a handful of each, every morning.

I also trimmed back my grape vine. I planted this thing two years ago. It got kicked over the first winter, and I didn't think it survived. When it did, I was thrilled to see even the single bunch of grapes it produced. I was slightly less than thrilled to find the birds ate all but one of those grapes. This year the grape vine made up for the single grape I got last year.

This is about half what I harvested

I ended up with almost fifty 1.25 to 1.5 cup baggies, which does not include the quart or so I ate while cleaning and packaging them! I'm thinking of adding a few more trellis to the two I now have, but I'm not sure what I'd do with all the grapes if the vine grows into them. Right now I have a refrigerator drawer full, and a freezer drawer full as well. I've been juicing them, then using the juice to sweeten things like oatmeal and these:

My first ever attempt at canning

Monkey Boy left me a large bag of grapefruit, and I was concerned I wouldn't eat them before they went bad. I've been gathering glass jars to store food in, because glass just keeps food better than plastic. I figured that out when I started making Refrigerator Oatmeal (a large batch of which I also made today). Anyway, getting and using the jars has had me thinking about canning, but I didn't have the jar grabber and thought it was more complicated than it turned out to be. I'll probably eat these a lot quicker, now they're already peeled and spoon-ready. 

To recap, Monkey Boy is now back in Germany, I'm running even though I may yet run into the neighborhood stalker again, I'm going gluten, dairy, and sugar free, and while it turns out I'm something of a farmer I'd rather shoot photos of deer than shoot the deer.

Hopefully it won't be quite so long before I see you again. Thanks for stopping in!

There's a war going on up in here!

For the last few weeks, my eating has been out of control. Eating out. Pizza and cookies at work. Ice cream several times. I've been above a comfortable weight since before I started working, but to every over indulgence I said "meh." "Whatever." Inside, a small part of me was screaming "Noooooooo!"

That small part of me fought back this past week, and took my wallet hostage in the process.

I'm quite poor right now. The new job barely pays enough to cover my bills, credit cards, and the student loans which have now come out of deferment. I spent my 401K, my reserves, and my savings being unemployed, and racked up a few credit cards along the way. I cannot afford new toys.

Late Monday night, I found myself once again looking at the Body Media site. You'll remember part of the reason I purchased  a heart rate monitor was because I wanted to know how many calories I actually burn in a day. I chose the wrong heart rate monitor for that. I learned about the Body Media Fit Link from this post, and was instantly fascinated.

Does anyone who knows me not know I am gadget girl? And that I like data? This thing measures your movement, temperature, and electrical conductivity, which helps it track how many calories you burn in a day. It also tells you how well or poorly you slept? Count me in!

I originally thought it kept track of heart rate as well.
I was mistaken.

This thing is also expensive. Count me out! I've been drooling over it since the beginning of August, though. Then Monday happened, and now there's this:

all it took was a coupon and a late night...

I don't know if it's due to the Fit Link device, or the return to running as my main form of exercise (over the P90X and Insanity), but I had a better exercise week than I've had since March. The eating? Meh. At least the last 2 days have been good.

It definitely acts as a reminder that I have goals and I"m trying to do something here. It's not tight, but I'm constantly aware of it on my arm. That may be the best benefit yet.

So the plan now is to run every morning, then roll out and do ab work, push-ups and pull-ups in the time between finishing my run and getting ready for work. The ab work is from the video series. I also do at least one video a week, usually Yoga, stretching, or Kenpo when I'm at Superman's in the morning.

Running every morning. I think I finally figured out what my problem was with running too much or too hard. I've been focusing on making sure my glutes are firing when I run. I ran almost 19 miles this weekend, without injury, hip, or knee pain. I ran more miles this week than I have in any week since March. No pain, other than tired glutes!

In addition, this past week I've  been using the handicap stall in the bathroom at work to do push-ups on the bar. I know. That stall is not for able bodied people. However, we almost never have anyone visit the office who doesn't work there, and no one who works there needs that stall. I'm not comfortable doing push-ups in my cube, and I haven't found a better place. Also, I can't do a real push up yet anyway.

That's about all I'm doing at work, to move. I walk on my little half hour lunch, but I rarely take my little half hour lunch. Mostly I sit at my desk from clock in to at least a half hour and sometimes an hour after I'm supposed to clock out. I get up to go help the other guys, who sit one and two cubes away from me. One of them laughed at me for putting a reminder to stretch on my calendar. Considering how engrossed I get, and how much sitting I'm doing, it's necessary!

As for real life, I'm very excited to see Monkey Boy, who's home on leave starting this coming Saturday. I'm also working on getting everything together for Superman's and my annual birthday bash over Labor Day Weekend. I'm trying to decide if the purchase of several large tissue boxes and ping pong balls will be worth the promised hilarity, if I can get people to participate in my little game.

I'll let you know how that goes!