Release the Anger

I am a literalist and a realist. Because I take everything literally, I do not function well when people lie to me. I don't lie to you, and I expect the same courtesy.

We've been having a bit of drama at work lately. One of the guys that was hired in with me has been extremely unhappy. He didn't like the hours, so decided to make his own. Coming in half an hour to an hour before the rest of the crew wasn't that big a deal, as long as there were tickets to work on. However, when he decided he wanted to start his shift a good 2 hours before support hours began, Management decided he needed to be doing other things during that time. He was trained on applications that had support hours when he wanted to come in.

He wasn't happy learning the new applications. He apparently had enough trouble learning the application he was hired in to support, and learning two new applications on top of that overwhelmed him completely.

At about the same time he finished his training and was put on the phones to support these two new applications, his daughter became ill.

This guy's behaviors and mannerisms reminded me Ninja. I felt bad for him, and somewhat protective since he was obviously struggling. I'm not bragging when I say I know the most out of the three of us about the product we support. I helped this guy out. I let it pass when he asked me the same questions over and over, figuring he wasn't using his knowledge as much since he was supporting these new products. I let things pass because he had "stuff going on."

He started calling in sick. A lot. The way the schedules worked, it was just he and I on Mondays. He started showing a distinct tendency toward Mondayitis, leaving me alone to handle what is supposed to be a two to three person job. Work stressed him so much he refused to log onto the phones when he was there, leaving the majority of the work to myself and the third member of out team. It got to where I could almost predict when he would be out, based on his behavior the day before.

There were a lot of doctor's visits for his daughter, who had a severe and mysterious pain in her side. Ultimately, there was a gall bladder surgery and an extended hospital stay, all of which he had to attend. He used up all of his PTO with unplanned outs, and then some.

Last Monday was his final day at work. At some point while he was supposedly out with his daughter's illness, he interviewed for and found another job. This is not a job I would have taken. From what I understand it does not pay as well, nor does it have the benefits this company offers. I'm only a little mad he lied about interviewing, and that's mainly because the lie he told was obvious enough for me to feel insulted he believed I'd buy it. I am more peeved he used our concern and care over his daughter's illness for his own gains.

I'm mad that he lied about so much else, too. I've found in the last week he told the other guy on our team he was making more than both of us. That is patently ridiculous, considering each of our level's of education and experience. He told clients things that made the team look bad. Everything he ever said is now being questioned, and quite a bit is not living up to the scrutiny.

Here's the thing. It's easy to get stuck in "mad." I'm a complainer. I try to keep it under wraps, but I frequently find myself complaining about things. Frequently those things involve work. I've been complaining about this guy for months. He's only been gone a week, and I'm already tired of being mad at and complaining about him. I'm tired of the jokes going around the office about him, even when I find myself participating in them.

I drew the above image to help me release the anger, the frustration, the fear of how this change will affect both the team and myself. He is gone, and he will have to pay for the choices he made while here. The residual effects will likely be gone before this next week is over, except for the fact we're now down to two and don't know when that will change. There's also the question of how this affects my training, upon which my expected promotion is if not hinged at least marginally contingent. I'm concerned about the frying pan/fire aspect of our next teammate as well. At least we've been promised the next new hire is ours.

I've been thinking for a while about incorporating my drawings here. My art waxes and wanes, and I often have to make a conscious decision to pick it up again. I'm trying to find time for it now, and chose drawing as something more mobile than clay. I can draw just about anywhere, whenever I find a few minutes.

At the same time, I've been thinking about the possibility of making money from my art. This has always been a dream of mine. If you look over to the left, you'll see I've started a shop where people can purchase things with my work on them. This week's piece may not be the best to begin that with, but I figure by the time anyone actually finds my shop and wants to buy from it, the quality and quantity will be much improved.