conversation in a family restaraunt by a large young woman whose hair might look good once the style is complete, in a very loud voice, tending a very young infant. The woman is speaking with a young man in a overly large, grey and black checkered velour jogging suit - both are in their late teens/early twenties:
he: "Did you come in with Jamoul?"
she: "Naw, I had to get my hair done."
he: "Is he here yet? Where's he at?"
she: "He's probably out trying to score some weed. You know he ain't got high in over a week."
he: (looking at infant): "You hear Francine's saying Marquis is her baby's father? He says she can't make him take the test - she don't have no right to come saying something like that five years later."
she: "I say he oughta take the test, five years or no five years. He ougtha take the test, and if that little girl is his he oughta take care of her!"
he: "That's why I take care of Tanisha's baby like I do. I didn't take the test or nothing, I don't know for sure, but it could be mine, you know? I take care of my own."
she: "You don't know?"
he: (shakes his head)
(conversation ends as others join their table)
This conversation has been rolling around in my head for the past 24 hours. I found it appalling at the time, that my children could hear people talking about drugs so nonchalantly, about casual parenthood. As I cringed, I noticed only one child was hearing it, and he was cringing too. I felt much better. So why does it still cling?
There is something to be said for presenting yourself the way you are and not caring what others think. The situation becomes one more thing making me feel older and I'm not sure I'm getting wiser in my old age. Here I am, judging them. When did I become judgmental? When did I move out of my own glass house? I screw up every day, just in different ways.
It still bothers me "in front of the children." Even though I know no damage was done, they were exposed to something I'd hoped they would never have to be exposed to. I wonder how much of this they are exposed to, and how much damage actually has been done.
Let people make their mistakes. Sometimes it's the only way they can learn. Let it go...
