Bored, bored, bored, bored, bored

 At this time in the holiday season, I'm used to being full up - running around like crazy, shopping, wrapping, going overboard as I normally do for my children and loving every minute of it.  This is the first year Santa isn't coming to my house in my life, and I have to say I don't like it one bit!!  We did decorate, just for fun.  We'll still have a marvelous Xmas breakfast, and I'm still hoping for that bonus from A so I can get some bills out of the way and at least fill stockings and do a little something for the boys.  They already know not to expect anything, so if they get anything they'll be surprised and happy.  Without cash, though, the holiday season is boring!!  The songs on the radio don't mean anything (well the funny ones are still funny).  There's no rush rush hurry hurry to get everything ready.  No excitement to take away the winter doldrums.  Just another day in the life.  

At least there's my children to keep me occupied.  It's interesting to see how they're reacting to everything that's happening.  Every now and again I have to wonder how I ended up with two children who are so completely different from each other and from me.  Chris is like I normally am - he loves Xmas.  It's his favorite holiday.  He was ready to decorate before thanksgiving, though he's not up on the gift giving part of it as much as I am.  He's young yet, though.  Craig on the other hand doesn't see the point of decorations, since we only have to take them down again in a couple weeks.  I suggested that it puts a person in the holiday mood, to which he responded he'd had enough of that with all the carols on the radio - he was already tired of it all.  I suggested it was nice to sit around and look at the decorations, to which he responded "Mom, I've got a life!"  I'll never let him know how funny I found that!!  <grin>  I pulled the parental prerogative and made him help decorate anyway.  He's too young to be so jaded!!

I am having fun with the ideas for the family Xmas.  Still not sure I'll have the time to finish them all, as these things can't be rushed.  I also can't work on them when I'm tired or distracted with the boys, which cuts into my time considerably.  I've already changed and streamlined the ideas about 3  or 4 times.  I think they'll actually come out better for it, though I still like my original ideas as well.  Maybe for next year.

So little time...

 Actually, they should have an icon for panicked...

Here it is, the weekend after thanksgiving and I've only now figured out what to do for my family for Xmas.  Of course, this would have been easier if I hadn't sunk myself in a depression of "I have no $$, so can't do anything for anyone."  Thanks to my wonderful, sweet, adorable and incredibly intelligent (is that pouring it on enough?) sister, who yet again gave me a kick in the butt and a suggestion or two, my creativity has overcome that particular depression.  Now I'm overwhelmed with ideas, have broken out all sorts of craft-type stuff I've had packed in the basement for over a year, and am trying to figure out how to get enough of these things done in the 3 weeks left before the big day.  Woe is me, to be blessed with such a large family!!  Even if I do one per family, instead of one per family member (counting extended family members of course) it's still going to be an interesting challenge.  I'm also trying to figure out how to actually *DO* them, as my ideas are never simple.  

I miss my ceramics, and still wonder if I'll ever be physically able to do them again.  I find I'm panicked not only for the time frame allotted, but the fear that 1) I've lost my touch (no doubt things will be different with a new medium and almost 2 years of abstinence) and 2) I won't be able to sit and bend over a project long enough without pain to find my focus and do any good at all.  

I guess, much like the headstands at thanksgiving (I love that one never knows what will happen at our family get-togethers!!) I'll just have to try it and see.