I did not want to get out of bed this morning. I slept just fine, only up a couple times to pee which is normal. Just... the bed was warm and comfortable and I was not looking forward to working out.
First day on l-theanine in the morning with coffee. I want to say I am more awake, but not sure if that's just placebo. Will see how the day goes. I DID decide to start logging and blogging, which I've thought about before but never actually done. This will be unpublished, a private diary of sorts. Of course, I'm blogging instead of working out...
Feeling scattered.
Took super ibuprofen this morning and feel like it makes things hurt more to reduce the inflammation. There is a reason the body creates inflammation. It is a protective measure.
Frustrated and possibly depressed over the Dr's reaction that I decided it's time to deal with my back. She didn't dismiss me entirely but it certainly felt like the last time, and really there is nothing to be done unless I'm heading toward surgery. Maybe physical therapy will help. Maybe.
No workout this morning. Just a long hot shower again. Hopefully l-theanine will help me concentrate so I don't eat when I'm not hungry. I was aware of that yesterday but it didn't stop me. Other nootropics should arrive in a day or so. I'm very hopeful.
Funny how I thought for an instant I would be rich, when I first believed I would be thin with these pills. Being thin really is the holy grail, built up into the magic solution for everything I want in my life. Still hopeful I'll be thin finally, but realize there is no magic. So hopeful though. Will see.
Being thin will of course make me look older anyway, so I'll have to decide which bothers me more or find a happy balance. I guess hopeful = belief at this point if I'm making plans.
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