7/30 - Everything will be ok

I'm not going to lie. I went looking for quotes and motivation today. My head is all tied up with where I stand at work. I know I'm the cause of my latest problem, which is that I'm over-thinking everything and taking too long to complete homework assignments. The best solution I've come up with regarding the concerns about my abilities is to work harder. I'm not sure that's a good solution, but it's all I could think of to do.

I spent a good bit of time on my Ruby homework today, but am now stuck in the same place I am with my .NET homework. I'm afraid I'm trying to do too much again, in trying to call random items from an array. The assignment is to use everything the class was supposed to teach in a single file: variables, methods, classes, strings, symbols, hashes or arrays, and loops. The example we were given was a little program that returned random dice rolls, but I don't see where the array or hash are included. Not saying it isn't there. Just that I don't see it.

I also found out today I broke something when I checked in my changes Friday. Well, broke is a harsh word. When the QA tried to generate the form I'd been working on, no data populated. I'd entered information in order to actually see the print view of the form, to verify it worked correctly. I neglected to remove the data I'd entered. Granted, the person who told me how to enter that data didn't tell me I'd need to remove it, but it never occurred to me to ask. One more item on the list of things to remember to look at before checking form changes in.

I did get my Introduction to SaaS and Cloud paper written and handed in, so that's progress. I updated homework from the Relational Database class in order to use it for the Programming with SQL Server class, and got started on the stored procedure I need to write for that homework. Progress is being made, though slowly in some areas.

I keep reminding myself that it's not everything I'm having issues with. It's one area, which is a recurring theme through a few of my classes. I also reminded myself that it's only been a month. I'm not going to be fired next week. They will give me a couple months before making any real determination. And if it does turn out I'm not developer material, Superman reminded me that would not be the end of the world. I could get a job doing installs, like the one I was offered before I accepted this one. I'm not ready to toss in the towel yet, but I don't have to let the potential outcome of this grand experiment distract me and make achieving success in this endeavor more difficult.

One thing I did succeed at, which I hadn't until today, was to stay for an entire class of Tap Out. I had to modify some of the moves toward the end: do push-ups on my knees; hold planks instead of powering up from plank to push-up position; step through plank to squat instead of popping up to my feet. I can feel my arms, shoulders, and abs, which is why I keep going back to this class. I need cross-training. I need upper body and core work. I also need the class atmosphere to push me in ways I don't push when I'm home alone. All of that is working for me right now.